I started dreaming about a past/parrallel life.
I was putting on my boots again.
In my dream, I was talking to a group of students when I noticed a soldier getting out of a bus that was parked opposite where I was. Somehow, I felt the need to approach the soldier and I did. When I reached near the bus, I was given the usual salute and greetings from the soldier and he handed me a letter. I was supposed to be shipped somewhere and the soldiers in the bus are members of my new unit, to be placed under my command. I was only to be given less than a day to see my family for the last time before I will be shipped to some unknown location for an unknown period of time....then I woke up.
This dream bears similar features to the dreams I had when my disorder and ankle injury got the better of me. In one of the more unforgettable dreams, I was travelling in a chartered plane that was destined for an overseas training. Along the way, the plane crashed and I was among the survivors. Apparently the commander of the unit died in the crash and the remaining leader of the unit request that I become their new commander. Before I woke up, I could remember crying and shouting that I could no longer be a commander due to my condition. I woke up with tears in my eyes.
Although it has been almost six years that I was a full-fledged officer, remnants of a sense of loss opportunities continue to 'haunt' me in my dreams. Usually, the appearance of such a dream signals to me an internal struggle dealing with uncertainty. In my mind, I have sought the sanctity of a secured past that was more certain. While I would be reminded of that lost opportunity in the past, now I see it as a warning of possible internal conflicts which may trigger another possible relapse.
The soldier in me fights on... "I overcome adversity with courage, fortitude and determination"...
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