Empowered...but Breakaway!

I feel empowered today... somehow I see a different light in the morning sun.

A new day...what a cliche!

Anyway, I got some creative juices flowing this morning and managed the following lines:

BREAKAWAY

I want to breakaway

From the chains that bind

From the knotted twine

From the blinding sign

A sparkle I see

A twinkle of inspiration

A drop of speculation

A sunken frustration

What strengths have I

What will to draw

What drive to spur

What fuel to feed

A mind that anchors

A hand that ponders

A heart that whispers

A gut that squanders

I want to breakaway

From the moulds that grind

From the masked wine

From the deafening <...>

Sorry, another unfininshed piece...the juices leaked somewhere... eeek!

For the PRIZEor the RACE?

"Never good enough!" became "You're good, but still not good enough!"

It's an accomplishment but still something that I need to work at.

Growing up without much of a role model, I had to establish my own milestones and benchmarks.

My major milestones have been marked by my mother who chose not to identify them, but left it to my own devices and interpretations on what they were.

It was only recently that I understood my mom's need to set mysterious milestones for me. Having facilitated classes based on the Problem-Based Learning approach, I've seen how my life has been shaped by much of the problems that I faced, challenged and overcame. Reminds me of a creed I once recited.... "I will overcome adversity with courage, fortitude and determination..."

Back to the title of this entry... the Prize or the Race...

I seem to enjoy the journey and find that the Prize is too much of a bother and sometimes a distraction. I hate competitions and tend to wish for a win-win, everyone wins solutions. I had ranking as it emphasises one attribute or value above another. Hence, I find no pleasure in seeing LIFE as a race with a prize.

To me, its a journey worth stopping along the way to smell the roses!

Pushing the boundaries... again!

I've been pre-occupied with my new routine. Doing something that I enjoy most.

Once in a while, I hit a snag. I would want to give all my students good grades, but doing so will make my grades worth much less.

Anyway, I'm cracking again. Probably it's the 40th day ritual for my 'father' that is bugging me. It brings back all the happiness, frustrations and mostly disappointments as I grew up. At a vulnerable period such as this, I am not able to have one of the few things that can keep my system functioning at its peak.

I have a craving and it has become a need, a necessity. I am not able to forcibly have it, or get it from somewhere else. It has to be given with in its pure form. It has become a need, as without it, I will begin to crack. And now I'm cracking. If I don't get it soon, I will crack and there goes my new career.... and the vicious cycle continues.... success breeds success.... but failure (not here...there's no room for failures...) means the end!!!