Get on with it!

I could not imagine that I last this long in blogworld... just as I did not expect to leave active service with the Army... nor complete my thesis....

...but somehow it all happened.

I guess APD sufferers have to deal with 'cold starts' in the morning and prep themselves to start the day on the right side of the bed... wait, left side?... no, right (as in correct) side of the bed.

For the past several years, I was apprehensive that mental reconfiguration would help as the brain/mind would be aware of the deception. Usually its the brain/mind tag-team that is deluding the entire system.

This morning, I tried it out of desperation. I need to have my life back! I need to be the person I meant to be... not this fear fearing panic panicky and anxious anxiety person! (But I do like that ff, pp and aa person - he is overflowing with creative juices, not such an a@#$%^e , more forgiving, more relaxed , etc...)

Anyway, I could wake up today without having to drag myself out of bed! That's an achievement, I move out of my safety zone by choice and not having to deal with cold starts. But, now I'm feeling the cracks.

Guess, I have to hold on tight now....