Stiff Neck II

Everything went well yesterday...

Congregation prayers at mosque celebrating Eid and month of fasting ...
PASS
Having breakfast with in-laws and family ... PASS
Lasting beyond 4 hours in festive mood... Conditional PASS
A day without pain... FAIL
A day without any muscle cramps, contraction, spasm... FAIL
A day without anxiety/panic attacks... Conditional FAIL

If there is a report card for me everyday, yesterday's will look like that.

It's tough managing my condition, but life has to go on.

I'm now concerned that my stiff neck is psychosomatic. It seems so, as the panic attacks seem to manifest itself in its standard form once I am aware that the stiff neck is anxiety/panic related.

I did my own experiment... I went to have a massage for the stiff neck. If its muscles that is painful, the massage should help... it didn't. Then I went for a jamu concoction- "pegal linu"- which has the effect of relaxation, the jamu helps. I would have reached for my Xanax, the medication prescribed to me for anytime I feel that my anxiety or panic attacks are beyond my control, but I can't afford to see a psychiatrist for now...

The last time I met one was in 2004. That was a year after I left my last profession and went on to pursue my Masters by Research. I've been on medication until my prescription ran out. I keep some stock but I have to consider the validity dates... Hence, I resort to jamu- something I've been familiar with since young.

Familiarity provides a sense of calm, certainty and therefore less anxiety.